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Carlos Romero's apartment is marked with remnants from his former life

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Carlos Romero's apartment is marked with remnants from his former life

: a giant television from his days playing Wow and two jeans the width of the desk chair. The remnants of this time -- when he weighed 437 pounds -- mark his body, too: loose, hanging skin and stretchmarks.
"I lift weights and work out and strive, there is however lasting damage," said Romero.


Yet for the troubles he'd Lida Daidaihua Slimming Capsule dating when he was obese -- all those unanswered requests on dating websites -- reducing weight left him uneasy about how much to reveal.
"If you had been to state to someone on the first date, 'I lost 220 pounds,' you're indicating that you had a really major problem at one point and that you may still obtain that issue," he said. "So it's not something I put on a dating profile since i don't want people to judge me for it."
Indeed, the stigma of weight problems are so strong that it can remain despite the weight sheds. Holly Fee, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, has conducted a few of the only research on dating attitudes toward the formerly obese. In 2012, Fee published her findings within the journal Sociological Inquiry.
She found that potential suitors said they'd hesitate to create a romantic relationship with somebody that was once heavy.
"The big dragging factor in why they'd this hesitation in forming this partnership was that they believed these formerly obese individuals would regain their weight," Fee said.
The prevailing belief is the fact that those who have never been obese can control their weight, and those who had been heavy have less willpower, said David Sarwer, a psychology professor and also the director of clinical services at the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders in the Perelman School Medicine in the University of Pennsylvania.
Self-consciousness
For people who have lost a significant amount of weight, fears about excess, hanging skin can hold them back from dating and being intimate. Health insurance rarely will pay for costly plastic surgery to correct the issue, which can be uncomfortable and embarrassing.
"I think they may be particularly self-conscious about this issue and become concerned about the very first time the partner sees them undressed," Sarwer said. "How are they going to respond?"
But it wasn't sex or romance that sparked the large change in Romero 2 yrs ago. This is when, at age 28, he was identified as having muscular dystrophy. Romero knew if he didn't slim down, his condition could worsen quickly. He stopped eating pizza, Ramen noodles and Dr Pepper and began exercising. Then, a year ago, after he dropped a number of jean sizes, he tried Internet dating again. Romero updated his old profiles and pictures and started delivering messages.
"It was amazing, at that time," he said. "The girls that I was like, 'I'll never hear back from this girl.' And then I'd hear back from them, and that i was like, 'Holy crap! This is so different.' It felt just like a whole other world had opened up."
Commitment to health
Now, Romero spends many nights on dates with his new girlfriend, Kate Rowe, who he met on OkCupid.
Their third date happened to be Romero's 30th birthday celebration, and that he chose to tell Rowe about his massive weight loss.
"I don't want to like this girl anymore than I already do without having her know," he remembers thinking. "I said, 'I have to tell you this thing. Please don't judge me.'"
Romero knew the risk he was taking. He thought, "What if she doesn't want to be anywhere near me?" Rather than being repulsed, though, Rowe said she was inspired by his hard work and dedication to good health.
If she had seen Romero's old profile, back when he was bigger, she probably would not have responded, she says. However he was in to Lida Daidaihua Slimming Pills mountain climbing and being active, and they have things in keeping.
For Carlos, you may still find physical and psychological hurdles to being in love. It's difficult for him to become intimate. He states shyly, "She's seen everything." So when he looks in the mirror, he still sees a 400-pound man. His mind hasn't quite swept up to his body.


 

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